april 2016

i must have given the impression that i wanted to; at first, i suppose i did. but i wanted his hands on me the way you wish you were famous when you're 17 years old and stuck in a one-horse town: deep down, i knew it wasn't right, but since it would never come to fruition, i was safe to daydream and, yes, flirt a little. i never told him no, so it doesn't count. i wasn't drunk or drugged or coerced, and i certainly didn't fight it. i gave him all the signs - yes, i wanted this. i didn't really ever say yes, but so neither did he, and no questions were asked. it was all very obvious: i wanted him, and he wanted me, so we would have each other.

i was a child. i wish i could say that he was all in the wrong, that he was the sole perpetrator. maybe then my trauma would be valid, maybe then i could tell my family and justice would be served. but that isn't how it was - i was at fault as well. he was, however, a man - no more than a few years older than me but eons more mature and in that man's body i so desired.

he was a man, and i am a child. there's no justice here to be served.

Some Cosplay Stuff

I really don't know any of these people but here's a good picture of me the first time I cosplayed my skeleton boy. 

My fursuit! I didn't make it and it isn't my character, but I'm  making one for myself now that is my character! Her name's Champagne and she's a dragon - I'll post drawings and progress photos of the fursuit later.

Baby's first cosplay! I was 14 when I did this and I basically put everything together the day of the event. What a dweeb, amirite fellas?

Quite possibly my favorite female-presenting cosplay of me, ever. Cupid! I did this for last year's Valentine's day event and I am just so in love with this wig. Note to self: Buy more heart stickies at Michael's. 

The love of my life! My fish, Hermes. He's a good boy.

So...

That was all pretty melodramatic. I was a moody 14 year old, and I guess I'm still pretty moody but I'm better now! I promise! I'll be posting pictures next, so it'll lighten up!

July, 2013

Did you know
that the blood
in your body
and mine
has the same amount of salt
as the ocean?
I will return this blood
and this body
to whence it came
with two long red marks
on the white of my wrists
and a note
in a bottle.
maybe then
you'll hear me.

July, 2013

I breathe in
I hope you remember me
fondly
I breathe out
I hope you do not remember me
at all

July, 2013

Do you ever think about
how when we were littler
we used to pretend to be dead
and fly about the house
like ghosts
and do you ever think about
how now that we're not so little
we pretend to be alive
and sit in one room
like corpses